The Wake and the Realization

Monday, 31st Aug 2009

I had a hard time figuring out what the wake was. Then wikipedia helped me.

I was planning to go there on Tuesday, but Jaspie was at school today and it was just nice that we can go there from school together. So there I was. :)

I have time and time again said I hate farewells. This is particularly the worst one. :x

When I got there, Jo was saying prayers, so I was chatting with TY, Jaspie and Jackie. Later when Jaspie saw Aunty, he broke into tears. I have only seen her for the first time at Jo’s 20th Birthday. So, I did not have memories to be nostalgic of. I stood there and made my best wish for her to go to the Paradise peacefully.

Nothing did strike me more than when Jo started speaking to her mom; she didn’t have a chance to talk to her before she’s gone. :( Nothing’s worse than when you have a lot to say and are unable to!

That made me started a stream of thoughts in my mind along the way. I kept pondering on the train; before I noticed, some tears started in my eyes. :x

Many a times, we just take for granted the love from the ones who love us. When life becomes too busy, their love and concern would sometimes become minor or even major annoyances for us (I’m guilty of that :x). Before we could take a break from our busy life to appreciate their love and to tell them we love them too, they could be gone and would never come back. Then we are left with so many words we “haven’t had time and energy” to say to them.

Many a times, we just couldn’t forgive people for some scores only to realize, when they are gone, that the scores, hatred and revenge are just nothing and life would have been better if we had forgiven earlier.

Yeah. I was thinking of the four—D, M, S, S—people I love so dearly (the order doesn’t matter) and the people who love me—at least there are three—so much too (and the people who hate me too of course).

I have been, at Buddhist teachings, reminded time and time again that it could be me leaving the next moment: who guarantees that I (or someone I love) would wake up after I (or they) go to bed tonight? Nothing has made me realize it better than this has. It reminds me again of a strange dream where I was consciously leaving the people behind, drifting away from the Earth forever to never get a chance to return; I was filled with so many words to those who love me—at least I wanted to let them know that I love them and appreciate their love too although I was too busy to tell them—and to those who I love—I wanted to let them know that I would still continue to love them and be wishing my best for them no matter what happens and no matter what they say to me ‘coz they were annoyed or agitated.

I have been so busy pursuing my dreams. But, what if they leave or what if I leave before my dreams are realized? Am I gonna be left with words I would rather later wish I had time to tell them? Last week, dad fell off in the bathroom and hit his head against the wall. Lucky that he didn’t get an internal head injury. Last year or two years ago, he almost got stroke and thanks to Htet Khine’s dad who came down at the very night, he was quite relieved. Now that I’m writing about them, I’m glad they were not the last defining moments. But, who would have guessed what the last defining moments of our life will be? Am I gonna be too late before I realize that too?

Well…great. I’m not even writing coherently now. :x It’s 330am now and I’m still wide awake with thoughts. [Oh ya…I hope I could get a replacement for my duty on Wed.]

Anyway, I’m glad to have seen that Jo was strong…stronger than I thought she would be at this time of her life! Stay strong dear! :) I know it’s gonna take some time to get used to the new situations and I believe you and your dad can do that! Your mom will be glad seeing that you could continue to move on your life. :) Though she is no longer physically near you, her blessings and her love will linger around you forever, wishing you all the best and taking care of you along your life. Love never dies…not in any form.

PS: I reserve the :( icon for the moments where I’m really really sad. I normally only use :x or :-s icons for when I’m sorry.

I Want To Know What Love Is

I heard this song at shop'n'save and thanks to Tengyi's phone, got to know the title. It's an old song that I have heard years ago.

The Climb - Miley Cyrus

Just watched Hannah Montana over the weekend. Didn't know this song before that. Now that it's reached my ears, I couldn't help not listening to it. =)

Weekend Fun & Sad News

It was just a usual weekend. We had dinner and went to a reservoir to just sit there and talk. A pleasant evening and much did we talk and have fun.

 

 

It was really dark then, so I had a hard time to take just a few snapshots.

The company was good and I think I need such weekends to keep me refreshed after a week’s worth of work. =)

Just as we were about to leave, I received a text message from Jing. Not the best of news I wanted to see in life!

The very first and last time I saw Jo’s mother was at her 20th birthday. Who would have guess a heart can break a human? All of a sudden, a person with so much meaning for my friend has left the world. I could take it as reality from medical point of view, but I had a really really hard time believing it from social point of view. It was just too fast; I was left in total awe.

Saying words here isn’t gonna do anything; it isn’t gonna make the situation any better. But, I give my full condolence to Jo.

Giving my condolence to her, I know myself that it could next be someone I love or you do before I (we) even notice that. Do love them now coz it’s when they leave us that we start to recognize how much they mean to us and to our life, and that we’re gonna give everything to get them back.

Or who knows? It could be me next time.

A New Gadget

Traded the old gadget with the new one. Definitely this is better with its build-in AF motor. The motor has always been an issue with the old gadget when it comes to the 50mm AF prime lens without Silent Wave Motor. It's got Live View just like the point-and-shoot cameras but that's pretty much useless! The 720p video mode is also one differentiating factor for this gadget but that again is also much useless!

I'm hoping this body will last me for the next few years (it's got pretty much all what an enthusiast could ask for) as opposed to the old gadget that lasted only almost a year on the day of trading. Basically I'm hoping this will be a good investment in a good body, and I'm pretty positive about this. Chances for me to get up to D300 or even to D700 are very very remote coz of the cost constraint. But, even if I have enough $$$ to throw away, I'm not that pro to be using an Full Frame camera yet.

With this solid body, I just need to collect some good lens only for the years to come.

NUSMM Gathering

It was on 22nd. That’s yesterday. :)

I didn’t go there for the last two years. :x So, this year, as my last final contribution, I went there and helped out with photo memory.

If you are holding the camera, how would you be on the photos? So, I got two photos of myself :)

and

Hmm…guess I should thank Su Nandar Oo for asking to take photo with me. Otherwise, I will be just in the group photo only. =D

I’m not gonna put up the hundreds of photos here. Some good photos from the events are there on facebook at this address. Some really funny photos are there, so it’s worth a visit. :)

I’m gonna upload a photo I like though:

It’s the only sun in your life. When you have it and when you only look up to it, this is how everything else looks to you—all dark. When it sets, there’s only absolute darkness left in your life. Till it rises again, your life can only be as bright as the fake sources of light can provide that’s never gonna match the light from your sun.

But, when it sets, I’m not gonna worry ‘cos I believe it’s gonna rise again; more important, it’s gonna be the exact same sun that has always been in your life—giving you light and energy—‘cos you can only have one and the only one sun in your life! Or I’m gonna live, till the last breadth, believing that it’s gonna rise again even if it’s not gonna.

Well…that’s just an explanation why I like it. Before I sound too emotional, I’m gonna say that the party was really fun; even though I was not in every photo, I was enjoying it every moment. Whether or not you do something at your best doesn’t depend on how you appear to others. :)

PS: I underlined a line above ‘cos a similar question could be asked of our life too.

Burning Paper

Yeah. It’s now the season in Singapore to burn (Joss) paper. People would burn paper of various shapes. They believe that their beloved will receive them.

I’m not gonna question their belief. I’m in fact taking their belief. That makes me wonder for the first time: If I burn myself, will I end up with them?

Back to School

Just went back to school today for a meeting and to sell textbook. =D

What was the first thing I noticed?
Bazaar! :-s

I think I’m gonna be in school for tomorrow also. :)

Bye TLT

Just called him at the airport and said goodbye for one year.

If I didn’t have some other stuffs to do now, I would be at the airport. Anyway, I just hate to say any kind of goodbye. =X

Now I have a thought (or rather a question) that I’m not gonna publish. I keep asking it again and again.

DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT

I woke up and all this EXTREME noises and vibrations greeted me this morning. I was thinking of staying home and working on something today. WAY TO GO!!!

Too much noises and vibrations that stuffs on the basin have dropped off, and when I was in the shower, I was thinking I was gonna die from the collapsed ceiling! Or if I didn’t, my hearing is gonna be seriously impaired. I’m on an earphone with volume set at 100% and I can barely hear the music! WAY TO GO!!!

I AM SUPER EXTREMELY ANNOYED!!!

One Mission Accomplished

Skipped first day of school to accomplish a mission. It was well executed. Something I have done for the first time too. A pat on the back for myself. LOL!

Some more to go. I gotta need LOTS OF LOTS OF caffeine tonight! Probably, I will be no different from a zombie tomorrow. But, that’s not by choice. It’s mandatory.

I just realized myself that within me, I am yet to believe that school has started. I was thinking to go to school everyday and spend my days there. Now, ironically, I find it extremely hard to head to NUS, much less to spend the whole day there. All of a sudden, I have a holistically different view on my education (again)!

Right Here Waiting - Guitar

Isn't this great too? :D

Good and Not-Good Day

I had a good day with friends. Haven’t seen them for quite some time. That was a pretty casual (and sometimes random) talk with them.

I have to thank TLT for his “treat” in the morning. =P

Oh yeah…that NUSMM thingy. I wasn’t planning to go there on 22nd. But, when ko TLT asked me to help take photos on the day, I found it hard to say “I wasn’t coming”. So basically, I agreed to come and help out. In retrospect, that’s not bad. I am not gonna have to be tired playing games (yeah…I know coz of an unintentional data leak). And who knows? I’m gonna enjoy the party FoC! =P [Hope I’m not dreaming!]

Too bad I had to miss Foggiare. =X

Tomorrow’s not a good day. School’s gonna start and I am not enthusiastic about the debut module. So, what am I gonna do? Yes, I’m gonna skip it! It’s as simple as that. I don’t like that module and I don’t wanna start my semester with that. So, it’s best that I skip it.

That’s all. That’s my plan for tomorrow. For today, I don’t know why I ran out of energy to keep me going after coming back home in the afternoon. I took a nap coz I was barely able to lift my eye lids then. When I woke up, that’s it. I have drained out of energy. It took me a stroll down my block (just for nothing) to get some fresh air and to “steal” some energy from the city and the passer-bys to keep myself going for the rest of the night.

Most of the time, I know I have a lot of things to do laid out for the next few months. Whenever I think of all the things ahead, I kind of re-gain “some” energy that is just a wee-bit short of sustaining myself for productivity. I couldn’t figure why I can sometimes lose energy to not be able to “produce” although I clearly know I have things to accomplish. Sometimes I just let the day go by without getting any useful work done, only to “admit” the next day that I have thrown away one day which I could have used for something useful on my plan.

Well…school’s gonna start and things are gonna get chaotic. I just hope I’ll be careful enough to keep track of myself amid all the chaos of a semester.

Thet Lin Thu Farewell

Met with them early in the morning. Last night didn’t go to bed early also. So, basically, I’m so so sleepy now.

I’m not gonna write more but just put up some photos. Saying bye for a while to the world. =)

From May & Mary

Haven’t got the photos from the Last Day’s party from Jo yet.

So, I just took some snaps of the cute duckie and the mug that we have been chasing around for the last eight weeks! =D

Overwhelmed

Just looked at the lecture notes on IVLE.

I feel like the last time I touched the lecture notes was ages ago. I feel like primitive to be organizing the notes again.

Anyway, I feel like I still don't wanna go back to NUS yet. Time is really too fast and I'm already looking at the assignment. =S

Singapore National Day 2009

Google's celebration of Singapore National Day 2009.

Disconnection

I was without an internet connection for the last two days. That’s a painful anguish that I can’t possibly suffer for more than a few days.

But, this gave me a chance to enjoy Friends and I had a hell of laughter! OMG! That’s just so damn funny! I’m gonna finish till the end. =D

Internship successfully concluded

I'm writing this from my desk. In half an hour's time, I'm gonna leave. It was a fruitful 2-months internship with UBS.

Been busy the whole day saying bye to people and taking pictures with them. Got a get-together and glad to receive their advice on career. CT gave a totally different idea and it is, I think, brilliant and it is what he used when he came out of school also.

Photos are gonna be here soon after I get them from Jo.

That's it. A bit of mixed feelings. Hell...I hate farewells!

Oh yeah...I'm going to AMK Hub to watch "Up" with Jo, Evie and Jing. =)

Semester Opener

Next week, school’s starting again. How time flies! A three-month summer just disappeared into thin air!

The internship that I so anxiously applied for and had been so eagerly looking forward to has finally come to a conclusion—a happy conclusion. Yeah, I know that Jo was having mixed feelings regarding the internship. But, to my surprise, I didn’t quite feel anything about it—that’s very unlike me who can look back and feel nostalgic about the beautiful past. Maybe I’m preoccupied with a lot of things that my brain (or rather heart) didn’t have much moments to ponder about this. Anyway. I have used up two more months of my life’s savings. It was a fruitful two months of my life, so I’m pretty glad about it.

I should also be thankful that Jo was there on the same floor doing the same internship with me. I can clearly see how the internship would have been without her. Having a friend—a school mate—at the workplace is something few people are privileged to enjoy and I was one of those few! There was never a day when I got bored; whenever I feel so, I could always go to MindAlign and gossip—oops!—about various things with her and we never ran out of topics! From Evie to Shishi to religions to personal experiences to some funny moments of life to future options to modules planning, the topics really vary. =D

Well, that’s not at all about chatting with her online and over the lunch. Working with her for one company on the same floor on three projects really gave an opportunity to know her better. I feel like after this internship, I got one more close and best friend to my life! There wouldn’t have been a better time where I could have known her this better in school!

Besides Jo, I also got to know a very nice person—May! Maybe it was because we worked with her the longest. Maybe it was because of her affable personality. Maybe there is simply no reason. She’s such a really nice person I would feel sad to leave the work today! Jo asked me once who I’m gonna miss most after my internship. Did I say May first? I wasn’t thinking that time but that name was the very first one that came into my mind.

There is another one: Patrick! He’s been fantastic. Well, what can I say? He’s so far the nicest ED ever! Taking time to talk to us out of his ultra busy calendar is the best thing you could ask for in a big company like this. It’s not so easy to book a slot on his calendar. I hope we didn’t disappoint him on his project. =)

Well…that’s about it:

Things happen for a reason, just like how people met, and have become the friends they are today (:

A few days of “rest”—*cough*—and the school’s gonna start. What’s the opener? ST2131!!! An infamous and hideous module! But, what’s got to be done must be done. I have no other choice! “Thanks Goodness” that I have taken ST1232 in my first year and that’s preventing me from taking an easier module to replace ST2131!

I’m taking World Religions also. I don’t know what I’m gonna take away from this module and where I’m gonna use that knowledge. Maybe I could use it when I’m talking with people from different religions; then I have some stuffs to discuss with them. =D

Well…a lot things await in the near future. Yeah. Really a lot of things. Can I spread them out? No, I simply can’t.

Life is a road...And I want to keep going... Life is a river...I wanna keep flowing... Life is a road...Now and forever...Wonderful journey...

Stop whining and get back to work.

Showing Off

Yeah. This is the first time I was able to do whatever I wanted on CORS. I placed outrageous bids for the modules, and I suddenly feel the power of “wealth”. LOL!

These are my record bids for my whole candidacy at NUS but the record winning price was last year first semester where I paid 1700 for Compiler Design (CRAP!!!)

KTA: Save some more points and launch your final attack next semester! :)

Extreme Boredom

Boredom is an emotional state experienced during periods lacking activity or when individuals are uninterested in the activities presented to them.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boredom)

In my case, it is the latter. I’m extremely uninterested in the activities I’m currently doing. Too tedious and too detailed—I have lost energy for it. =X

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my dearie sis!

It’s 2nd August already here in SG, but it’s just 1st Aug there.

It’s good that your birthday falls on a weekend. Have fun and wish you have a great year ahead! :)

And, thanks for the guitar for my birthday! I'm gonna really love it! I was at first looking for the cheapest of the cheapest one, now no need =P

Btw, I found something interesting while searching for a birthday cartoon. A rare kind of celebration! [Note: NC16-rated content if you follow the link.]

Someone’s really bored

Someone was really bored and came up with some creative transformation.

{Thanks Jing!}